'Into You' Proves that Hyoseong is the Nation's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Hyoseong is Trouble

Hyoseong has finally proved it with "Into You." She's the quintessential crazy ex-girlfriend of Kpop. Hear me out. This is not a slur. Somehow or another, Korea has a way of defining (crowning) their most popular idols in affectionately hyperbolic terms. Women like Hyori and HyunA have been referred to as "Queens," while miss A's Suzy is the "Nation's First Love" and IU the "Nation's Little Sister." If we think of Hyoseong in these terms, the choice is clear. There can be no other title. She is the Nation's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Beware.


She was out of their league and the Nation knew it from the start. Years after their short but intense relationship, one of the Nation's friends will see old pictures of them together on Facebook (the Nation doesn't have the heart to take them down), and they'll ask, "You got with her?"

"Oh, yes," the Nation will say, with a touch of the same sadness that always follows them. "Her." They'll remember the good times. When just a gift could make her swoon.

Hyoseong loves the Nation

Or the times they spent near the ocean, where they would pretend to be stranded, just the Nation and her (and her strangely clingy friends). The Nation will want to forget those wonderful times.

Hyoseong shipwrecked

Things ran hot for a while, the Nation will recall, but, eventually, Hyoseong's strange politics and seeming disloyalty to her friends gave the Nation pause. Hyoseong wanted total devotion and time and that's something the Nation, ultimately, couldn't give. They weren't even surprised when Hyoseong called things off, via text message, just three months in. And then she said, no, let's stay together, no, let's break up. No, I don't know. Before, finally, mercifully, she ended things. But that's not what haunts the Nation. It was what happened after the breakup that forever scars them, forever giving her the title as the Nation's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

Let's just say she took the breakup hard.

Hyoseong Devestated

Hyoseong is a certain type of ex-girlfriend that encompasses all certain types of ex-girlfriends.

Hyoseong is the type of ex-girlfriend that will come to the Nation's office, out of the blue, in the sexiest little red dress the Nation has ever seen and regale them with her current crimes and misdemeanors. And then right when the Nation thinks they've got her back, even against their best interests, she f*cking poisons them.


Hyoseong is the crazy ex-girlfriend that comes to the Nation's f*cking wedding (was she even invited?) just to show the Nation what they're really missing. She'll even joke with the Nation's bride just to see the Nation sweat. Then, right when the Nation thinks the humiliation is over, Hyoseong here gives back that rare diamond the Nation gave her (at great expense) on this, the Nation's wedding day of all days because Hyoseong wants the Nation to know she just doesn't give a f*ck.

Hyoseong Pwned you

And then Hyoseong will smile just thinking about that. That's the type of ex-girlfriend Hyoseong is. You know what I'm talking about. That goodnight kiss is the kiss of death.


The Nation will remember that she's getting therapy. But they're not so sure it's helping. They know that she has two sides raging madly beneath her like a d*mn Scorpio with Scorpio ascendant. Then the Nation finds out later that Hyoseong is just seeing herself, that she thinks she's good enough at therapy already to give herself therapy, 100 bucks an hour, and the Nation will finally realize how bat-sh*t crazy this girl, this adult woman, really is.

Hyoseong Therapy

With "Into You" Hyoseong plays the type (we've all had/will have this type of ex) once again. Underneath the cheesecake and sweet smiles, there's something foreboding and wistful with the videotapes of Hyoseong being viewed in a dark, grimy room, as if a damaged, emotionally hollow Nation is trying to relive a former, elusive magic.

Hyoseong videotapes Into You

Hyoseong has done a number on them, as she will with any Nation that has fallen under her voluptuous charms.

So when the Nation's friend ask, "You got with her?" The Nation will instinctively think: She's the one that got away. And then the Nation will remember everything they've been through with Hyoseong and think: Thank God. 




Timothy Moore writes from Chicago. He blogs at Read My Blog Please, and edits at Ghost Ocean Magazine. His biases are T-ara, Block B, Nine Muses, Brown Eyed Girls, and Girl's Day.



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